Grandad's Funeral

Wallace E. Tyler 1926-2013

Ree and I were saddened to learn of the passing of my grandad, Wallace E. Tyler on Sunday, September 29th, 2013. We knew he was not doing well, but his rapid decline and passing happened more quickly than the family thought it would. We quickly put plans together to attend his funeral in Redding, CA.

The flights were prohibitively expensive for us, so we chose to drive instead. I didn't trust the old Subaru to make the 1400 mile roundtrip, and the Pilot would be a gas guzzler. When I did the math, it looked like we would at very least break even renting an $11/day car that would get better gas mileage, and the miles could go on someone else's car. After a hiccup with Dollar Car Rental (terrible!) Enterprise had me on my way in a (not-so) luxurious Hyudai in no time. Didn't matter- we needed a radio, A/C and many MPGs.

Ree's kid logistics were fantastic, and we were greatly blessed by family and neighbors- lots of kids coming home from school and piano lessons at different times on the day we left. The aunts took Dany and Rory to soccer games on Sat, and neighbors helped with rides and watching here and there. Ultimately, though, Chris and Al were kind enough to keep them through the entire weekend.

I was surprised by Ree's patience through the drive. We only stopped twice on the way out to Redding (11-ish hours) for lunch and gas. We entertained ourselves by listening to a Harry Potter book on tape. I'm realizing this is the only way to go on road trips as adults. Ree and I managed to keep each other company, even through the tough, boring Nevada desert. Ree documented the trip out...

Tree of Life. Even as a kid I thought this was weird

Enjoyed the scenery and smell of pines near Lassen

We finally arrived in the evening and checked in to the hotel. We weren't there long, however, as we dropped our bags and headed to a restaurant to eat with all the family in town. Unfortunately, it was noisy and Ree and I were on the end, so we didn't get to see or chat with everyone.

The next morning was the funeral. Honestly it was hard for me to see Grandad in the casket. I always have a hard time with viewings and generally prefer to avoid them. I like to remember the person as they were, and not have that image as my last one of them.

The funeral itself was great, however. Mom offered a beautiful eulogy, in which I was surprised to learn many interesting and distinguished accomplishments of my Grandad through his life. She did a great job. Ree then sang Each Life that Touches Ours for Good. She didn't have a lot of time to practice or prepare and I think she was a bit nervous beforehand. I thought she did wonderfully. My Uncle Craig gave a powerful and spiritual talk encapsulating our beliefs about the Atonement and Plan of Salvation, in part for those not of our faith who were attending. I think everyone who was there, regardless of their faith, was quite touched by his testimony and thoughts; I certainly was. Grandad's bishop offered a few words as well. Unfortunately, it seemed obvious to me that he didn't know my Grandad well. I can't blame him too much, though, as Grandad had had a stroke 14 years ago and lost most of his ability to communicate. I mostly just wished we had dismissed after Uncle Craig's talk.

We joined the processional to the Anderson Cemetery, for the graveside portion. Grandad had been in the Navy, including the very tail end of WWII, so his casket was draped in the Stars and Stripes. I had my first opportunity to be a pallbearer, which was a great honor. It felt great to be alongside my brothers, cousins and uncle to carry my Grandad to his final resting place. Uncle Kurt offered a nice dedicatory prayer, and that was it. I thought it was a wonderful tribute and was so glad to be there.

Trevor, Chad Tyler, Brock & Austin Tyler, Me, Trajan

Treg is behind Traj, and Uncle Craig joined us in front of me

 
The Relief Society made a nice luncheon for us back at the Stake Center. Most of the Bayly kids sat together and we had each other in stitches with jokes and stories. It actually continued later that night when all of the Aunts, Uncles, Great Aunts and Uncles, and cousins had dinner together in the banquet hall of one of our hotels. I hadn't seen some of my uncles and cousins in years- some in over a decade or more. I loved being with my brothers too. I really miss my East Coast bros and was happy to be with them there. We swapped more stories, jokes, experiences and pranks. It was hilarious and fun. Maybe some may think the two meals were irreverent, but my Grandad had a good sense of humor and I think he would've appreciated seeing us all together.

The drive back was anticlimactic, and seemed very arduous compared to the drive out. We stopped more frequently and were glad to be done after driving for just short of 24 hours in about a 72 hour period. I was grateful for Ree's support and willingness to slog through. I wouldn't have wanted to be alone, or go with anyone else.

I thought a lot about the man my Grandad was. To my child mind, he was more a legend than an actual person. I didn't see him a lot growing up, but I do have many fond memories of the times we were together: catching frogs and picking raspberries at his ranch; his excellent buzzard bakes; bringing him to show-and-tell in 1st or 2nd grade; his fabulous Chinese dinners; wonderful stories of his sheep tail and cigarette pranks; his stern demeanor; his great ability to teach others, and more... I really reflected a lot on his generosity to me. My education and flight training were largely made possible by his foresight. It has obviously impacted me, but more importantly, my family. A legacy for which I will be eternally grateful.

Thank you, Grandad. You were a great man with a wonderful life! We will miss you!