To My Daughters

Rory is five months old today.  Yesterday while I held her, I got one of those inexplicable feelings of panic that seems to hit all mothers at some point.  As I looked into her soulful, still-blue eyes, I feared the worst for her.  It makes no sense at all; she's healthy now, she's happy and all her stats are good.  Yet, I worry.

From the moment she was born, I've felt like Rory had these knowing eyes.  There was a wisdom, and maturity there that completely belied her age.  And in thinking that, it made me recall some of my first impressions with my other daughters as well.  Things beyond the way they look, or the sound of their cry.  Things that told me about who they really were, and the gifts they possess.

Maisie:

Maisie was the perfect infant.  She rarely cried.  She slept through the night from the moment we brought her home from the hospital.  She ate well, and entertained herself.  I thought parenthood was a breeze, or that I was some super-amazing mom.  But beyond that, Maisie made you feel something when you held her.  It was as if her little spirit were healing you of all your stress, your worries, your sadness.  My grandfather passed away five days after Maisie was born, and the comfort I felt radiating from her little frame was almost palpable. 

Today Maisie is a very sensitive little girl.  She's very concerned about others and their feelings, and gets her own bruised fairly often.  She has a great capacity for love that I know will serve her well.

Danyn:

Dany had a very rough start.  At fifteen days old, she was in the hospital with RSV, and has had it twice more since, along with myriad other viruses.  We were ordered to keep her isolated for months every time she got said viruses, which meant she spent a very large amount of time at home, away from the world.  Yet, she was a very happy child.  People who didn't know her had a hard time telling that she was sick because her behavior would indicate otherwise; Dany was so used to being sick that sick was the status quo for her.  In those early days we glimpsed a strength in her, an inner core of steel that gave her the ability to handle circumstances beyond the control of her tiny body.

Dany is almost three now, and is very self-assured.  She's got more sass than I often know what to do with, but that strength is something I prize, I know she'll need it often as she grows.

Rory:

 

 

Rory, of the soulful eyes.  Such wisdom I can see reflected there, I'd give anything to hear what she knows.  Rory feels like an old soul. On the day she was born, she was very alert and tried hard to hold her head up to look at all of her visitors.  Now she seems so eager to get her body to catch up to her mind, reaching milestones before her older sisters did. I don't know quite yet what her personality will be like, perhaps a mix of the other two?  Or maybe she'll blaze her own trails, and be a Rory original.  I'm eager to see, but pray she takes her time.

I love my daughters, they are the most amazing parts of my life.  I'm so grateful, as their mother, to be able to see the curtain slide back every now and then; to sneak those little glimpses of their spirits, and know just how precious the child surrounding it is.