Our carpet was finally installed in the basement on Friday, the last time we should have to deal with any contractors, and as a celebration, we took everyone out to dinner at their favorite place: Chuck-a-Rama. Now Teag and I don't particularly love this place, but our kids think it's the end all, be all of fine dining, so we humored them.
A little back story here: We started the remodel April 28th, and the carpet was installed July 13th. A little over two and a half months from start to finish. In that time our kids had their rooms, lives and routines uprooted, and were placed into some rather trying circumstances. Not only were we very condensed on the upper floor, we also added a new baby, and had dad away much of the last several weeks as he completed our end of the remodel. Finn isn't sleeping through the night yet, so I'm short on sleep and somewhat on patience. Our kids pick up on this and all the changes, and they're stressed too. It's been trying, to say the very least. Teag and I have often felt that our family was coming apart at the seams, and it was all we could do to just make it to the end of the day without killing one of them.
Also, as another bit of back story, I had spent several hours earlier that day shopping for myself. Nothing I own fits quite right after four kids, and while I'm nursing, and after trying on lots of different colors and styles I came home with some new things, but still felt rather downcast. I know Finn is only six weeks old, but it's hard to look at yourself in the mirror and not like what you see. I felt disproportionate and unattractive. I know my body will eventually get back to where I like it to be, and due to my lack of weight gain during this pregnancy, I weigh less now than before I got pregnant, but it's hard to focus on that when all you want is to look great in a pair of jeans.
Anyway, back to last night. Now that we have wonderfully soft, luxurious feeling carpet
(I'm really excited about the carpet we picked out, can you tell?), we
will be moving the girls downstairs to their new rooms as of Monday.
That news was well-deserving of some sort of celebration in our minds,
hence Chuck-a-Rama.
As it was a Saturday night, it was insanely busy. Teag said he felt like he was doing a two-step all over the restaurant, and the description was incredibly apt. It was also very loud, and a little crazy trying to keep track of and feed our three oldest. Thankfully Maisie and Dany have no qualms about wandering off with their own plate to collect whatever looks good to them. I had fed Finn before we left, but he started to get a little fussy, so I got him out of his car seat and held him while I tried to eat my salad. Despite the craziness, I was in a pretty good mood, and Finn was cuddly, so I was enjoying that. Suddenly I felt a tap on my shoulder, and I turned around to see a very well-dressed, refined looking older woman standing next to me. She leaned down and said to me, "I just wanted to tell you that you have a stunningly beautiful family."
I was quite surprised by this, but thanked her for the compliment. She then added, referring to me, "And I don't think I've ever seen someone with more natural beauty." I got a little flustered, but managed to thank her again, and told her she had no idea how much that meant to me. I've never seen this woman before, and most likely won't see her again. She didn't have to go out of her way to tell me this, to approach a total stranger to say what she did. But she DID take the time, and probably gave me one of the best compliments I've ever received in my life. EVER.
And so I felt as though I absolutely must post the experience here for two reasons. Well, mostly one reason. I want to be able to refer back to it, to reread it and be able to see myself, and my family through someone elses eyes. These past months it's been too easy, sadly, to focus on the negative. My kids stress and frustrations have manifested themselves through increased whining, disobedience, anger and a general air of selfishness. The smallest of tasks have been met with resistance. We've been trying to potty train Rory since the beginning of April with no success; she's fully regressed twice. Most days I just want to escape, and I found myself taking no pleasure in their company whatsoever. I wasn't enjoying them, or their anecdotes, personalities, anything.
With one sentence, that woman brought my family into a new light. I was able to look, and again recognize just who they really are, beyond the whining and disobedience. And her compliment to me was so timely, and so sweet, and again, allowed me to look at myself in a new light. She gave me a very special gift last night, and she didn't even know it.
God bless her for her selflessness in approaching a total stranger, and for her intuition in knowing I needed to hear it.
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